Super Bowl Picks

In case you haven’t noticed, media coverage of professional football these days is more about sifting through story lines and less about analyzing defensive or offensive schemes. Witness, if you will, the media’s ongoing obsession with Tony Romo and… wait…what’s that?

You knew I was heading toward Jessica Simpson before I finished my sentence didn’t you?

You probably didn’t know that Romo broke the Dallas Cowboy’s single season touchdown record, previously held by Danny White, or that on third downs versus aggressive blitz schemes he tends to roll right and favor tight end Jason Whitten. Okay, maybe you did know that, (Everyone, including every other NFL team, knows that Romo favors Whitten on third downs) but I bet you were more aware of the fact that Tony vacationed in Mexico with the aforementioned starlet going into last Sunday’s game. How could you not be aware of it? Modern sports media, and I say this without reservation, has found that engaging narratives sell better than statistics and starting lineups (FOX anyone?).

So, I am saying all this as a mere preamble to the fact that I am not particularly looking forward to the Super Bowl this year. I don’t doubt that the game itself will be well played, or that the winner will be deserving of the honor due a Super Bowl Champion. What I dread are the potential narratives that we will have to endure as the scenarios play themselves out.

Patriots Win:
Media Narrative- ( I can barely stand to write this) The Best Team Ever with the best Quarterback ever win the biggest Super Bowl Ever!! Bill Belichick is the Father. Tom Brady is the Son. Randy Moss is the Holy Ghost. Wes Welker is Gandhi and Stephen Gostkowski will be the Virgin (he’s a rookie) Mary (he’s a kicker).

The Truth: Great Quarterback has a great receiver and a good offensive line. He knows his system well and is really tall. Best EVER??!?? Please…put Tom Brady on the ’07 Dolphins team and we would all have forgotten his name.

Packers Win:
Media Narrative- Old Man who everyone wrote off comes back with a bunch of kids and wins the Super Bowl. Brett Favre is the Best Quarterback EVER!!!!!! Let’s call Jerry Glanville and have him tell us how dumb he feels for cutting Favre from the Falcons.

The Truth- Old Man who everyone wrote off comes back with a bunch of kids and wins the Super Bowl. Brett Favre might be the Best Quarterback EVER. Rocky 6 anyone?? Tom Brady = Tommy Gunn

Giants Win:
Media Narrative- Misunderstood Phenom finally wins the big one. Tom Coughlin is THE BEST COACH EVER!!!!

The Truth- Mediocre Quarterback gets lucky. Giants should have fired him 4 years ago. I just argued with some die hard Giants fans about this. Even if Eli wins this game they should cut him and hire Vinny Testaverde (who won the Heisman Trophy the same year my sister, who is a junior in college, was born).

Chargers Win:
Media Narrative- L.T. is the BEST RUNNING BACK EVER!!! .

The Truth- They are going to lose to the Patriots by about 600. No Super Bowl let alone Super Bowl victory.

The moral of this story is that no matter who wins, the stories will be told as you see them above. Count on it, Death, Taxes, and Bob Costas making soap operas out of post game interviews.

BTW- I find the packers story line most palatable. Brett Favre is a classy guy and I could handle people making a big deal out of him. GO PACK!