The last 2 weeks

Ok, ok

Let the clamoring end. Due to spotty Internet service for the last 2 weeks, I have been noticeably absent from my post as grand chronicler. To mend all of your broken little hearts I will include some of this fortnight’s best vignettes:

Once and future wife
My wife has since joined me here in the city of all madness. This was of course accompanied with the fitting pomp and circumstance for which New York is infamously known. Her first flight was delayed due to weather and then cancelled for the most arcane of New York oddities. Unbeknowngst to all (even most New Yorkers) La Guardia airport has a 12:00am curfew.

What? Since when did airports have curfews?

La Guardia: “Not fair, JFK and Newark International get to stay out as late as they want, but I have this silly midnight curfew.”

Mrs. La Guardia: “Yes dear, but they are older than you. When you get to be their age you’ll get privileges too.”

La Guardia: “Gee ma, the kids are starting to make fun.”

and so on and so on…

Anyway, I have a wife again which is always nice.

New Apartment
Directly related to my wife’s triumphal entry was the signing of our lease. We are the proud tenants of a beautiful Jackson Heights (Queens) 1 bdrm apt (all real estate transactions happen in abbreviations). This apartment, thanks to my wife, is more beautiful than I had pictured for us. Hard woods, new kitchen, it is truly a dream.

I wish I could put into words the travail it took to get us to this point. I would liken it to the process of child birth: exhausting, painful, with a wrinkly red thing - I mean- beautiful result.

4th of July
I watched the Macy’s 4th of July firework show from a Manhattan roof top. Does this make me special? Maybe, but it sure was fun. It oddly didn’t feel like the 4th being so far from Texas. New Yorkers are way too cool to be caught dead celebrating anything seriously, let alone be patriotic. This would be social suicide. What can I say? At least in Texas you see a couple of flags here and there…Anyway, They were the coolest fireworks I had ever seen, though.

The Martian
I will end on what has been the most amusing of New York isms so far. The Martian as he is known, is a homeless man who has frequented the subways of New York for, some say, 15 years. His tactics are these:

1. Stalk unknowing wealthy looking “victims”
2. Follow said victims onto long train ride.
3. Wait until train goes into long, underwater tunnel
4. Pull out beat-up saxophone and begin to blow an ungodly amount of noise.
5. Intermittently yell, “MONEY MAKES ME GO AWAY”
6. Collect Money from startled, while amused, while angered patrons
7. Continue daily for 15 years.

PS. They call him the martian because of the green beads in his hair.

Next time: The Wig Upstairs