When I die I will go to Trader Joe's

For those who have not had to the privilege, let me have the honor of introducing you to Trader Joe’s. They are the cheapest health food grocery I have ever seen. EVEN BETTER THAN CENTRAL MARKET! There is currently only one in NYC, deep in the heart of Manhattan (clap, clap, clap, clap sorry Texas). I am happy to find out they are expanding to Elmhurst, Queens very soon. This makes me happy. If I live a good life and I do enough good deeds, maybe I’ll go to trader Joe’s when I die.

Pre-made Indian food: $1.99 (serves two)
Decent Bottles of Wine: $3.00
Organic Granola Bars: $2.59
Cold Storage tote bag (clutch in NYC): $1.99
Organic peanut butter: $1.99

I could go on for days.

I should say, of course, that my wife “told me so.” I was against TJ’s at first and now I can’t stop talking about it. She’d get really mad at me if I didn’t say this publicly.